


manhunt, but it's winter

by itisjosh



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: "betrayal", Alternate Universe - College/University, Best Friends, Fluff and Humor, Gen, Idiots (platonically) in Love, No Angst, Platonic Female/Male Relationships, Platonic Male/Male Relationships, Platonic Relationships, Roleplay, Snow, Snowball Fight, Snowmen, Winter, also a jd kinnie but let's just ignore that, differing POVS, haha wilbur is a george washington kinnie, i assumed the community might need it, ignore all the tags it's a coping mechanism, just pure fluff, sort of lmao, they're all so dramatic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-14
Updated: 2020-11-14
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:35:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,645
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27537673
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itisjosh/pseuds/itisjosh
Summary: "And here you lay," Wilbur booms, leering over him. "Destroyed. How does it feel, Schlatt? How does it feel to lo-"Wilbur winces we he feels a mixture of snow and ice hit him in the face, feeling the cold immediately. "How's it feel to get absolutely fucked, Scoot?"
Relationships: ALL PLATONIC, Clay | Dream & GeorgeNotFound (Video Blogging RPF), Clay | Dream & Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF), Dave | Technoblade & Wilbur Soot & TommyInnit & Phil Watson, Jschlatt & Wilbur Soot, Niki | Nihachu & Wilbur Soot, Toby Smith | Tubbo & TommyInnit, Zak Ahmed & Darryl Noveschosch, the idots - Relationship
Comments: 49
Kudos: 462





	manhunt, but it's winter

When Dream suggested they all go outside to dick around in the snow, George was fairly accepting of it. He lived in Brighton for the majority of his life, and he finally managed to drag Dream and Sapnap out of their natural habitats, which he thought would be hilarious, assuming that they'd struggle. Sadly, his friends both managed to adapt to the frigid winters of Maine, (why the fuck were they even _in_ Maine? Oh, right, Techno got a scholarship and they all decided to support him by following him halfway across the country. Which he was furious about.) even if they really aren't all _that_ bad. 

Everything had been going well, which was terrifying. If everything was going well, George knew that something awful was going to happen. Be it in the form of a bear stumbling out of the woods to Dream finding an axe, something bad was going to happen, and it was going to happen soon.

Which it did. 

George watches from his perch on the cabin's roof, staring down at the chaos unfold below him. Dream has Tommy in a headlock, and he can see Wilbur standing over Schlatt with a snowball in his hand. Tubbo's busy building a snowman, and George is fairly certain he can see Techno slowly creeping up behind Dream. He's got no fucking clue where Sapnap, Bad, Skeppy, and Tapl went, but it's not his problem. 

"And now!" Spifey shouts, clapping his hands together. He only has a t-shirt and sweats on, and George has no fucking clue how the hell he isn't dead yet. To be fair, he doesn't know how any of them are still alive, especially Dream, Tommy, Wilbur, and Sapnap. Dream's the worst out of all of them, with Tommy following _very_ closely in second. They both have such massive god-complexes, it's unbelievable. "For the grand finale!" He booms, whirling around to stare up at..George. Why the hell is Spifey looking at him? Oh. He's so fucked, isn't he? "George!" Spifey laughs, that stupid, shit-eating grin on his face. George is never going to forgive him for whatever is about to happen to him. "Look behind you!" 

George closes his eyes for a second, tuning the entire world out. Life had been nice about an hour ago. He was stuck inside scrolling through Instagram, listening to Sapnap and Dream argue about something stupid. He was warm and content, everything was good. He could hear Tommy and Tubbo bickering in the room next to them, and everything was...peaceful. 

He's surprised it took this long for everything to go to shit. 

George turns around, staring at Sapnap. "Hey, Georgie."

"No," he says with a nod, standing up from his crouching position. "I'm not doing this today," George brushes the snow off of his jeans, adjusting his scarf. "You climbed up here for nothing." Sapnap grins at him, standing up way too quickly. 

"Oh, but George," he feels Sapnap's frigid hands press against his neck, his voice way too close to his ear. "I don't think you had a say in this. I'm holding you ransom."

"No one is going to pay money for you to-"

"Ohh, Dream!" Sapnap calls, giggling directly in George's ear. "I've got your prized possession!" 

George closes his eyes. "He's going to come up here with an axe." He sighs, wishing he was wrong for the first time in his entire life. God, his friends are so fucking stupid. 

"I know," Sapnap grins. "I've got a plan for that." 

He can hear Dream start to scale the side of the cabin, and he wonders just how he got here in his life.

* * *

"Was it worth it?" Wilbur asks, towering over Schlatt. "All the agony and hurt you caused? Was it worth it, Schlatt? Did the power thrill you? Well," he smirks, shifting his foot to press a little closer to Schlatt's head. "It's all over now. And here you lay," Wilbur booms, leering over him. "Destroyed. How does it feel, Schlatt? How does it feel to lo-"

Wilbur winces we he feels a mixture of snow and ice hit him in the face, feeling the cold immediately. "How's it feel to get absolutely fucked, Scoot?"

Wilbur blinks, feeling the snow slide off his face. It hits the ground with a comedical _plop_ , and he can't help but burst out laughing, falling directly on his ass. "Schlatt!" Wilbur grins, wiping off the remnants of the snowball. "That's so uncalled for!" Schlatt tilts his head back even further, which really shouldn't be possible, and lets out a maniacal cackle. 

"I didn't think you'd monologue for so long!" Schlatt grins, launching himself up out of the snow, shaking himself. The snow scatters off of his back, and Wilbur flinches when an entire chunk manages to hit him in the chin. "Come on, Wilbur. That was your own fault and you _know_ it," he laughs, standing up. Schlatt turns to face him, grinning down at him. Wilbur recognises that grin. It means chaos, it means _agony_. "Wanna help me fuck some shit up?" Schlatt offers, holding out a hand. "We can be buddies." 

"Buddies?" Wilbur raises an eyebrow, letting Schlatt pull him back up to his feet. "Partners? Partners in crime? Lovebirds? Lovers?" 

Schlatt sighs at him, giving him that look at means _Wilbur if you don't shut up in the next three seconds I'm going to beat you to death._ Schlatt lets go of his hand, opting to grab him by his shoulder instead. "No, I meant what I said. Buddies. Come on, Soot," he starts to walk, and Wilbur lets himself get dragged along with him. "Let's go propagate." 

* * *

Fundy is angry.

He's angry because Wilbur bought him a fox coat. 

He's angry because he's wearing the fox coat. 

He's angry because _one of those sons of bitches got rid of his actual coat, and all he fucking has left is the goddamn fox coat_. 

And it isn't like sitting inside was an option, because Dream decided to turn off the fucking heat, like a goddamn weasel. _And_ he refused to turn it back on unless Fundy went outside to play in the snow with the rest of them. Fundy would have said no and made everyone else suffer as well, but then Dream opened the windows, and he got cold. So, he swallowed his pride and put the stupid fucking coat on.

"Oh, it isn't even that bad," Eret laughs, reaching out to ruffle his hair. Fundy catches his wrist, glaring at him. "What, are you just going to sulk?" Eret grins, a thin veil of snow covering his sunglasses. "Fundy," he pouts, reaching to put his hand on Fundy's. "Want to start a mutiny with me?" Fundy pretends like he doesn't feel a wave of joy at the word. 

"Against?" He asks, cautiously removing his hand from Eret's wrist. "There's only so many people we can try to dethrone." 

Eret grins, cocking his head to the side. "Well, what about the person who called you got rid of your regular coat?" He offers, sending an obvious look over to Quackity. Oh. It was _him_. "I see that murderous glint in your eyes, Fundy." 

"I'm gonna kill him," Fundy whispers, tearing himself away from Eret's grasp. "Quackity!" He shouts, watching as the man snaps his head towards him. Quackity's eyes widen nearly comically, his entire face draining of colour. "You're fucking dead!" Fundy screams, taking off running. He hears Eret behind him, but that isn't important. "You're so fucking dead!" He calls, sprinting through the snow. 

"I'm sorry!" Quackity shouts back, surprisingly fast. "I'm so sorry! It was funny! It was funny!"

Quackity is a dead man.

* * *

Techno wanted to move in peace. 

He said his goodbyes to his brothers and his dad, and he specifically told them to _not_ say anything to any of his friends until he was already gone. 

Tommy deserves whatever comes to him, Techno thinks. 

Usually, he'd be entirely down for a snowball fight, but midterms have completely drained him of energy, and the last thing he wants to do is socialize, even if it's violent socialization. Techno lays back in the snow, staring at the sky. He never thought he'd end up in Maine, but it isn't the worst place. It's nice, actually. His campus is gorgeous and huge and there's so many places for him to explore. The entire state is gorgeous, actually. He likes the forests, and he's already made friends with some of the game wardens, who are nice enough. 

"Techno?" He blinks up at Tubbo, watching as the younger boy stands above him. "Wanna help me finish up my snowman?" 

Techno does not.

"Yeah," he shifts off of the ground, wincing when some of the snow falls down the collar of his shirt. Techno follows Tubbo to the snowman, and _holy shit_. He's basically got an entire kingdom. Techno nearly forgot that Tubbo won the sandcastle building competition they had a year or two back, by a _long_ shot. Phil came in second, and Eret came in third. To be fair, Techno thinks some of the points were out of pity, since Wilbur ended up shoving Tommy, who ended up falling onto Tubbo's hard work. "How long have you been at this?" He asks, sitting down in front of the snowman. He has a door in the first snowball of his body. 

"Ever since we've been out here," Tubbo smiles, packing some snow. "Tommy was helping at first, and I've got no clue where he is now," he laughs, patting the side of the snowman. "I think Wilbur might've killed him."

Techno smiles, watching as Tubbo moves snow around, his eyes focused and serious. Tubbo has always been one of the people Techno can be around when he's completely drained. Tubbo can keep a conversation going, even if it's basically just him talking to himself. Wilbur and Phil are close, but Wilbur tends to get antsy when there's only two people, him being one of them. Phil is great, but Techno is fairly certain that he spotted his dad strangling Vurb, but he isn't really sure. "D'ya think you did well on your midterms?" Tubbo asks, tilting his head to the side. 

"Probably," Techno waves a hand, leaning back. He's never been a fan of the cold, but he can handle it. Plus, he's wearing three coats, so it cancels everything out, anyways. "You optin' to stay out of the fight?" Tubbo giggles, turning back to face the war. Techno can hear Schlatt and Wilbur saying something, and he thinks he can faintly hear Niki talking to Eret. 

"Nah," Tubbo sighs, patting the side of his snowman again. "I think they've got enough people. George climbed up onto the roof, and now Dream is fighting Sapnap," he reports. Techno isn't surprised. "I think he just pushed him off the roof, actually. Oh, that..yeah, he definitely did. Bad is going to be pissed," Tubbo snorts, sighing. "Hey, Techno?"

"Yeah?"

"Phil just jumped down from a tree and knocked Wilbur over." 

Techno snorts, grinning up at the sky. "Not surprised."

Maybe having his entire group of friends follow him to Maine wasn't the worst thing that could've happened to him.

* * *

Vurb is so fucking happy. 

He puts one foot on Tapl's chest, resting the other on Skeppy's back. "So," he grins, crossing his arms. "I think you guys know the payment for losing." 

"Oh, shut the fuc-" Vurb leaps forwards, shoving Skeppy's face in the snow. He hears muffled screaming, grinning even more. He spares a glance back at Tapl, who's still laying there. Good, he knows he can't escape. 

"Now," Vurb laughs, moving back. "Now. I'm going to make you both a deal. I want Finn. I also want you to call Fundy a furry, but I specifically want Finn," he claps his hands together, feeling the snow start to sink into his boots. "Go!" Tapl is scrambling up in an instant, howling after Finn as he sprints through the snow. Skeppy lays on the ground, rolling over to stare up at Vurb. "I'm gonna eat your toes, Zak."

"I've lost all will to live," Skeppy replies, his voice flat. "Just end it." 

Vurb rolls his eyes, leaning his weight to the right. "Okay," he crouches down, reaching out for Skeppy's boots. "So-"

"Okay!" He shouts, kicking snow into Vurb's face as he scrambles back, desperately trying to escape. "Fuck you, toe guy!" Vurb grins, watching as he disappears to try and take down Finn.

* * *

Niki tosses the snowball up into the air, catching it again. It's covered in a layer of ice, and she's prepared to take down Wilbur and Schlatt. They've started a tyranny, and no one else is doing anything about it. To be fair, Phil did dive bomb Wilbur, and Tommy latched onto Schlatt's leg and he wouldn't let go, but _still_. Techno is busy talking to Tommy, Sapnap is still on the ground in front of the cabin, and Dream and George are stuck on the roof. Well, George is stuck. Niki knows that Dream could get down if he wanted to. 

The Idots are all busy assaulting each other, with Zelk and Mega paired up against Skeppy and Tapl. They're protecting Finn. Niki isn't sure where Spifey or Vurb went, but it's probably for the best. Bad is busying himself with trying to help Sapnap up, who's very angrily complaining about everything. 

Anyways. 

Niki grips the snowball a little tighter, closing an eye to focus on Wilbur's back. "Will!" She shouts, making sure she can see the ice that's embedded in the snow. 

"Niki?" Wilbur turns to look at her, his eyes huge. "What are you doing with that snowball?"

Oh. He wants to make this dramatic. Niki isn't surprised, he's a goddamn theatre kid after all.

"You've been ruling with Schlatt," she starts, carefully taking a step forwards. "Your rule is tyranny. I'm not going to stand for it anymore, Will." 

Wilbur's shoulders slouch, his eyes softening. "Niki..you could have just told me to stop. I would have."

"But you didn't for Tommy," Wilbur blinks. Niki knows Wilbur well enough to know when he plans on playing someone. Lowering his voice, his tone dripping with charisma. Niki knows her best friend well enough by now, and she isn't going to get fooled by him again. "Surrender now, Will. It's not worth it."

"I think it is," Wilbur starts. "It was always worth it. There are two of us, Ni- _Schlatt?_ " Niki watches as Wilbur's shoved to the ground, his knees hitting the snow. "Ah. I see. I've been betrayed." 

Schlatt smiles, holding a snowball to the back of Wilbur's head. "You really thought I'd ally myself with you? After you tried to _kill_ me?" He grins, leaning over him. "How does it feel to lose, Wilbu-" 

Niki throws the snowball.

It hits Schlatt on the chin. 

Wilbur whirls around, throwing himself off of the ground, slamming the snowball Schlatt had into his chest. "Yes! Yes, we got him!" Wilbur grins, clapping his hands together. He looks genuinely happy, which isn't surprising. He always takes these things seriously. Wilbur sprints towards her, throwing Niki up into the air and twirling her around. "We did it!" 

Niki laughs, feeling the cold wind blow across her face. "Will! Put me down!" He does after a few moments, bouncing on his heels with childlike joy. "You really thought I'd betray you?"

"Yes," Wilbur nods, pointing at Schlatt. "I trusted him entirely, and then he tried to murder me." Schlatt gives a half-hearted thumbs up from his spot on the ground, which is hilarious. 

Niki has never really liked winter before, but she'll make an exception just this once. 

* * *

_(They have to take Sapnap to the hospital for a concussion._

_Dream has never laughed harder.)_


End file.
